A few months ago I applies for Disability, for my mental disability. I met all the criteria, sent in all the paperwork they wanted, and was sure I would get approved. Not only did I fill out the form online, and submit it, but they sent me the same form in the mail, which I filled out as well. They also sent another form to me to fill out about my disorder, more thoroughly, like how it affects my day-to-day life. Which I also provided to them. I was checking the process almost daily, but that was like watching paint dry. So I decided to just try and forget that I filled it out. I was supposed to hear from a therapist, according to the paperwork, but that never occurred. I decided since I had waited a while without checking the progress of the application and review, that I would go ahead and look. To my surprise and dismay, I was denied benefits. I understand that this is normal for a first time application. It still brought me down, back into my depression. Maybe I didn't add enough info, or I didn't say the right things. It just gets me into my head, wondering what I have done wrong to get denied. It doesn't help that I have a big issue with rejection.
Why is it that when I get excited about something benefiting myself, to help myself, that I just get brought back down, because I have to rely on someone else. Someone that doesn't know me, or see how this Disorder affects me. They don't see how crippling going out to pick up groceries is. Even when I don't have to go in the store. They just see that yeah, once I week I drive by myself to get groceries. They don't understand that I cannot drive more than 30 minutes away from my residence alone. I'm not able to visit family in other states, because I don't have someone to ride with me. I don't go out to eat, unless they have a drive-through or delivery, because I can't be surrounded by people, without becoming stressed. I can't handle loud sounds, even from movies, that I've seen multiple times. Jump scares, that I am expecting, still scare me. Talking on phones throws me through a tail spin, even if it's with family or loved ones. Work place environments are filled with so much stress and anxiety that I call out on a regular basis, because I cannot handle it.
How does that not qualify for some sort of benefits, provided by the Government. I'm lucky that I am living somewhere where my rent, gas, utilities, and food are taken care of, or I wouldn't survive as much as I have. But I cannot go to a Doctor, or Dentist, for basic needs, because I don't have the funds to do so. I wouldn't be able to pay family or friends back, if they helped me in a dire need. If I were to have more prescriptions, than I already have, I wouldn't be able to get them filled. I just don't understand how this information is seen, and it's decided that I don't qualify for some sort of assistance.
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